✅ DO's
- Be soft and gentle. ESTJs often have a tough exterior, so a gentle and kind demeanor will complement their personality and create a balanced dynamic.
- Let them take the lead. ESTJs enjoy being in control and prefer setting the pace, so allow them to take charge in social and decision-making situations.
- Show reliability and follow through. Demonstrating that you're dependable and can be counted on will earn their respect and trust over time.
- Be honest and straightforward. ESTJs appreciate clear, direct communication without emotional complexity.
- Help with practical needs or gestures. ESTJs value tangible acts of kindness, like helping with tasks or offering practical solutions.
- Be respectful and polite. Treating them with respect in all situations is important to maintaining a positive relationship.
- Spend time with their friends and family. ESTJs value strong relationships, so showing that you're willing to be involved with their social circles will mean a lot.
- Demonstrate competence and a strong work ethic. ESTJs admire individuals who are competent and hardworking, so show your dedication and effort in various areas of life.
- Invest genuine effort into the relationship. Show that you're committed to building a strong, long-term connection by dedicating time and energy to it.
- Appreciate their problem-solving skills. They are practical and good at solving problems, so acknowledge and value their approach to life.
- Be open to receiving their advice and guidance. They often take on leadership roles and enjoy offering practical solutions, so being receptive will strengthen your connection.
❌ DON'Ts
- Avoid games and manipulation tactics. ESTJs have no tolerance for deceit or manipulation, so being genuine is essential to gaining their respect.
- Avoid being overtly sexual early on. They value sensibility and prefer building connections based on respect rather than rushing into anything physical.
- Don’t give the impression of being lazy or messy. ESTJs are highly organized and appreciate others who are responsible and efficient.
- Don’t pressure them to talk about their feelings early in the relationship. Let them decide when they’re ready to share deeper emotions—be patient and understanding.
- Don’t disrespect rules or social propriety. ESTJs value structure and respect for rules, so following established norms is important.
- Don’t show up late or waste their time. Being punctual is a must—delays or wasted time can lead to frustration.
- Don’t play emotional guessing games. ESTJs prefer clear communication, so avoid being indirect or making them guess how you feel.